So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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