Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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