No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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