The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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