i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize