I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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