This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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