He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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