nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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