4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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