Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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