I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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