I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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