piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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