I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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