WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize