I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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