hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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