o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Randomize