I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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