Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize