remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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