So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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