i think my tv is drunk
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
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She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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