Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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