Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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