my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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