So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize