the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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