I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize