she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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