I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize