ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize