Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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