i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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