My first STD was from a foam party
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize