im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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