he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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