We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
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He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i need some magic done to my vagina
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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