he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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