I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize