I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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