Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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