party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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