Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize