I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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