i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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