i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
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went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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