At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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