At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's shark week go big or go home
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