i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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